Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sapu Air Liur

Majlis pernikahan dah selesai tetamu sudah balik si ayah mengelamun sendiri.

Di kamar pengantin kedua mempelai asyik membelek hadiah-hadiah,
si ayah pasang telinga mendengar perbualan.

Kedua pengantin sedang membelek sepasang kasut hadiah dari tetamu yang datang.

" Nak cuba pakai malam ni , bang." pengantin perempuan bersuara
berdebar dada si ayah mendengarnya.

" Boleh saja biar abang masukkan.."
Pengantin lelaki menyarung kasut di kaki isterinya.

"Tak muatlah bang, sempit oh sakitnya." Ternyata kasut bukan saiznya.
"Kalau Tak muat nak buat camana?" Pengantin lelaki gundah suaranya.

" Sapu je air liur???" Si ayah bersuara

Ketawa pengantin berjela-jela.
Ternyata si ayah silap sangka.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Try to get some rest

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"8:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!."

Clever news reporter

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him.

Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

New driver's license

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.

"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Lawak tragis

Amir seorang lepasan Universiti luar negeri dan mengambil keputusan untuk tinggal di kampung dan mengusahakan penternakan lembu secara komersial. Setelah berjaya dengan ternakan lembunya maka diapun berhasrat untuk berkahwin dan menyerahkan segala hal pencarian kepada kedua orangtuanya.

Maka dicarikanlah orangtuanya untuk Amir seorang gadis kampung yang memang cantik dan penuh kelembutan sesuai dengan keinginan siAmir. Gadis ini pula tidaklah berpendidikan tinggi seperti Amir.

Suatu hari siAmir membawa isterinya ke ladang lembu miliknya itu. Tiba tiba terlihat dia sepasang lembu yang sedang 'mengawan'. Maka tersenyumlah Amir lalu memandang kepada isterinya lalu berkata "Abang teringinlah nak buat macam tu."

Jawab isterinya dengan jujur "Buatlah bang, kan semua lembu tu lembu abang" Huakakaka!!

Tiada Pemandu

Abu berasa gembira kerana berpeluang melancung ke London bersama datuknya. Mereka berada disana selama 2 minggu. Dalam waktu itu berbagai dan merata tempat telah mereka lawati.

Pelbagai pengalaman dilalui oleh atuk dan cucunya ini. Antara pengalaman yang tidak dilupakan ialah ketika menaiki bas 2 tingkat.

"Atuk! Atuk! Jomlah kita naik ke tingkat atas. Pemandangannya lebih menarik kalau kita berada di atas," pujuk Abu.

"Baiklah," jawab atuknya.

Bagaimanapun sewaktu menaiki tangga untuk naik ke tingkat atas, atuknya turun semula dengan wajah agak pucat.

Melihat keadaan itu Ajis bertanya," Kenapa atuk turun semula?

"Atuk tak naklah naik ke tingkat atas lagi sebab di tingkat atas tiada pemandu," kata atuknya sambil terketar ketar.